A [much needed] Daily Devotional

I thought I would share with you my devotion from yesterday morning. I read these every morning at breakfast to start my day, but this one in particular really blew me away yesterday both in reading it and in practice.

(This comes from The One Year walk with God Devotional by Chris Tiegreen)

Confidence in God
“Though war break out against me, even then will I be confident” – Psalm 27:3

In word: Feeling besieged? Don’t be surprised. It’s a natural human condition. Few people go through life with a sense of invulnerability. We question our strength, and, when trouble strikes, we doubt our ability to stand. We don’t feel invincible, so we fear trials. When war or even minor conflicts break out against us, confidence often disappears.
            David was no stranger to conflict. He was also no stranger to fear. His understanding of God’s strength and sovereignty did not come by birthright, it came by experience. When he tells us in verse 1 that the Lord is his light and salvation, the stronghold of life, he can make such claims only because there were times when he was forced either to lean on God or to whither away and die. The truth of God’s strength is only learned during times of vulnerability. Strong, confident people learn to rely on themselves. Weak, helpless people learn to rely on God.
            David’s introductory question in this psalm – “whom shall I fear?” – is purely rhetorical. He knows the answer: no one. If we can honestly claim with David that the Lord is our light, salvation, and stronghold, we can ask the same question without any fear of a valid answer coming up. We can be afraid of no one.

In deed: If you’re trying to work yourself into a state of confidence, be careful of where that confidence is placed. The model of overassertive strength that the world urges us to follow overestimates the power of man. Christians are not called to follow it; we are called to place every hope in the almighty God. If we need a source of strength, our inner self will not encourage us very much. God will.
            Learn to speak the words of David. Say them out loud to yourself, if necessary. You are playing psychological games, you are rehearsing the truth. Though war break out against us, we have every indication that our confidence in God is well-founded. Our heart does not need to fear, because we are children of the fearless One.

Now, if you had talked to me within the last two weeks you would know how defeated I was feeling. My students don’t seem to be getting along very well with their English and I was running out of ideas on how to teach them. Everything I came up with, they bombed because they could not understand a word I was saying; my creative juices were dry. I know that I was not failing as a teacher, but it sure felt like it. There were multiple times that I had to physically stop myself from crying in front of my students because I was unbelievably frustrated. So you can imagine, coming off two very hard weeks and having to start again on a Monday, that I was not enthusiastic at all. I really wanted to play sick for the day and just quit on teaching. This was the war that was overwhelming my life.

After reading this devotional I prayed to God that he would help me that day. I prayed that he would use me as his tool and teach these students through me. He knew how to help them best and how they could learn best, so I needed his wisdom in teaching them. I was obviously out of energy and desperately needed his strength to start the week. I put my day in his hands and headed off to school. Now, I would love to tell you that clouds parted and a bright shining light poured out from the heavens with angels singing gloriously, and all of sudden my students knew perfect English. But I had another kind of miraculous victory that day! It was small but monumental at the same time. Every single one of my students stayed in green for the whole day! (In my classroom I have a behavior system based on colors: each morning the students all start out in green. Once they receive three checks for any sort of bad behavior, they move to yellow, and will owe me some kind of extra assignment. If they happen to get three more checks then they move to red and receive demerits from the office.) Therefore! although their English may not be spectacular and they still struggle in every single class, at least my students know how to behave. I was so proud of them all.

I cannot claim this victory as my own. I know God’s hand was in that moment and he guided me all day. I am learning to lean on him daily because this job is too challenging to try to do on my own. It was days like this that make me love my job beyond expressible words and so thankful that I have the strongest man on my side, God.